Okay. Election Day is only a few days away. Hopefully I’ll be able to pull away from politics just a little and keep from pulling my hair out before the Holidays. Until then, I’m going to continue to thrill the half-dozen or so of you reading this with more rants of frustration.

First of all, I was a little annoyed by the lack of choice on my ballot. There were ten contests in which I could vote for candidates; five of them were unopposed. My policy for unopposed races is not to vote in them. I expect the candidate will vote for himself, and without opposition that’s all that will be required. While I can understand why some of the races are unopposed (the Missouri House districts of Kansas City proper are decidedly Democratic) it still would have been nice to have been given a choice between different positions. I think I’m going to have to start a new political party – Governmental Engineers. We’d focus on problem solving, efficiency and avoiding public speaking.

One of the nice things about being an engineer rather than a scientist is that engineers know when something is insignificant enough to ignore (i.e. assume a perfectly spherical horse). This ability to prioritize would come in useful in today’s political climate. You see, where an engineer might be worrying about eliminating wasteful earmarking ($27.3 billion spent on fluff programs to get representatives reelected – see page 2) our US House spent some time this fall hashing out the American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act. Yes, the consumption of horse meat by humans had gotten so out of hand in our country that it deserved the attention of the US House of Representatives. I will certainly sleep much better at night knowing that the federal government is present to make sure Americans aren’t eating their livestock.

If you take a look at this important piece of legislation, you might notice that a Missouri House Representative co-sponsored the bill, the Reverend Emanuel Cleaver II, former mayor of Kansas City. I can see why he might be so concerned with this issue – what would pull the carriages in the Plaza at Christmas if all the horses are eaten? Motivated by his inspiring participation in pushing the horse meat bill through the House, I decided to look a little deeper into Representative Cleaver’s history of sponsoring legislation.

Taking a look at the biography posted on his website, I discovered that Representative Cleaver prepared himself for a political career by studying Sociology as an undergraduate, obtaining a Masters in Divinity from St. Paul’s School of Theology, and serving as a Methodist minister. Now, I want to make it very clear that I am not trying to discredit students of theology, and I admire the benevolence of those who enter ministry with the intent of improving people’s lives. I do, however, have reservations about the degree to which Representative Cleaver was qualified to participate in government. That said, let’s look at the legislation he has co-sponsored this year.

Reverend Cleaver co-sponsored 96 pieces of legislation that were introduced this year (All this information is made available to the public in a conveniently searchable form online). Let me give you some highlights (in order as they appeared in my search results).

H.CON.RES.335 : Honoring and praising the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People on the occasion of its 97th anniversary.
Sponsor: Rep Green, Al [TX-9] (introduced 2/8/2006)

H.CON.RES.384 : Recognizing and honoring the 100th anniversary of the founding of the Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Incorporated, the first intercollegiate Greek-letter fraternity established for African Americans.
Sponsor: Rep Hinchey, Maurice D. [NY-22] (introduced 4/6/2006)

H.CON.RES.386 : Honoring Mary Eliza Mahoney, America’s first professionally trained African-American nurse.
Sponsor: Rep Johnson, Eddie Bernice [TX-30] (introduced 4/6/2006)

H.CON.RES.399 : Recognizing the 30th Anniversary of the victory of United States winemakers at the 1976 Paris Wine Tasting.
Sponsor: Rep Thompson, Mike [CA-1] (introduced 5/3/2006)

H.CON.RES.451 : Honoring John Jordan “Buck” O’Neil and urging his induction into the National Baseball Hall of Fame.
Sponsor: Rep Neal, Richard E. [MA-2] (introduced 7/19/2006)

H.RES.657 : Honoring the contributions of Catholic schools.
Sponsor: Rep Kennedy, Mark R. [MN-6] (introduced 1/31/2006)

H.RES.693 : Expressing the sense of the House of Representatives with respect to childhood stroke.
Sponsor: Rep Johnson, Eddie Bernice [TX-30] (introduced 2/16/2006)

H.RES.894 : Congratulating Avery Johnson for being named the 2006 NBA Coach of the Year and for leading the Dallas Mavericks to their first Western Conference Championship.
Sponsor: Rep Jefferson, William J. [LA-2] (introduced 6/27/2006)

H.RES.940 : Recognizing the 185th anniversary of the independence of Peru on July 28, 2006.
Sponsor: Rep Crowley, Joseph [NY-7] (introduced 7/24/2006)

H.RES.1055 : Honoring the Fisk Jubilee Singers.
Sponsor: Rep Davis, Danny K. [IL-7] (introduced 9/28/2006)

H.R.5401 : To amend section 308 of the Lewis and Clark Expedition Bicentennial Commemorative Coin Act to make certain clarifying and technical amendments.
Sponsor: Rep Emerson, Jo Ann [MO-8] (introduced 5/17/2006)

H.R.5994 : To designate the outpatient clinic of the Department of Veterans Affairs in Farmington, Missouri, as the “Robert Silvey Department of Veterans Affairs Clinic”.
Sponsor: Rep Emerson, Jo Ann [MO-8] (introduced 7/28/2006)

Breathtaking, isn’t it? Actually, I’m starting to feel sick to my stomach. It’s not that I don’t think people deserve recognition for their accomplishments, but does the House really need to be devoting precious time to honoring the winemakers for winning a contest 30 years ago? But wait! It gets better! We pay each and every House Representative, including Reverend Cleaver, $165,200 a year. We pay him that to participate in a Congress that was projected to be in session this year for a mere 99 days – the least number of days Congress has been in session since 1948. That comes to $1668.68 for each (7.6-hour) day, $219.56 per hour in session. Also, House Representatives got a raise of $3,100 this year.

Think about that before you vote… but try not to throw up on your ballot.